


Secrets big and small

by Ellstra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cannoli Kylux, First Time, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn with Feelings, not between kylux though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28674639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: Kylo finds out Hux is a cyborg. Hux finds out that despite what he's been brought up to believe, there are people who find cyborgs attractive. Both of them find a human heart where they didn't expect it.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 83





	Secrets big and small

**Author's Note:**

> Today is the fifth anniversary of me publishing my first Kylux fic. I have posted a fic every year on this day and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do so today because the past year has been hell in terms of writing inspiration. But alas, here I am.   
> The child abuse mentioned in the tags is not very graphic but it's there (may Brendol Hux burn in hell for all eternity). I added the implied non-con tag there to be safe, because I feel like the line I used could be interpreted that way and I didn't want to upset anyone.   
> This fic was inspired by [this prompt](https://kyluxhardkinks.tumblr.com/post/189197543946/hux-is-a-cyborg-years-ago-brendol-decided-to) which I saw exactly a year ago and I had to write it.

“I’ll have your head for the sloppy job on my ship!” Kylo bellows as he storms into the engineers’ workshop. He doesn’t know who tinkered with his ship – despite his strict orders – and left it screaming every time he accelerates, and it doesn’t matter to him. One of these idiots will pay for it, he’ll make sure of that.

The workshop is oddly quiet and empty. The chief engineer is staring at Kylo with unmasked fear, holding some tool barely above the metallic back of another person sitting on the desk of his work table. 

Kylo’s eyes go wide with shock.

“Your behaviour is as brutish and untoward as always, Ren,” the cyborg says. He looks at Kylo over his shoulder, sneering. “Please refrain from yelling at my subordinates, and if you truly cannot help yourself, be so kind and book your own appointment.”

The engineer relaxes slightly when he realises his life is not in immediate danger, but Kylo has lost interest in him completely. His attention is fully on the man still sitting on the table, obviously unafraid of Kylo even with his back turned to him. 

“What are you?” Kylo asks and steps closer, mesmerized. 

“A General of the First Order,” Hux replies. He waves his hand at the engineer who immediately runs out of the room. 

“Last time I checked, all the Generals in the First Order were human,” Kylo says. He doesn’t actually know this for sure, but the First Order is racist enough for him to be confident in his statement. 

“I am human,” Hux hisses and finally jumps off the table and turns to face Kylo. His chest and stomach is covered in metal, rising and falling with his breathing. 

“Your entire upper body is metallic,” Kylo says. Hux’s eyes narrow in anger and he walks closer to Kylo until they’re barely a foot apart.

“You say one thing about this and you’re dead. I don’t care if you’re Snoke’s favourite pet; if I catch you as much as thinking about it, you’re dead!” Hux says. Blood rises to his cheeks and Kylo finds himself wondering just how much of Hux is artificial. 

“Why?” he asks. Hux is magnificent. The perfect combination of human intellect and mechanical durability. 

“Are you so self-absorbed you can’t even comprehend that everything doesn’t revolve around you?!”

“No, no, no,” Kylo protests and raises his hands up in defense. Hux raises one eyebrow. “I mean, why would you hide?”

“Are you for real?” Hux asks and shakes his head with disbelief. “I'm a disfigured freak.”

“What?” Kylo exclaims, “You’re not disfigured, you’re… enhanced. Better. Stars, Hux, look at you! You’re perfect.”

“What do you know about that? You’re from the Republic. I hear you love all sorts of creatures there, why not a mechanoid, right?” 

“If you hate it so much, why did you get it done then?” Kylo asks, ignoring the insult, or even the blatant racism in it for the sake of understanding. He knew other races were considered inferior by many in the First Order and he supposed Hux shared those views, but cyborgs weren’t a different race, right?

“That’s none of your concern,” Hux mutters, “leave me alone.”

“No,” Kylo says, “I want to understand. I won’t tell anyone if you explain it to me.”

“Blackmail? Very classy,” Hux scoffs. 

“You’re making me do this,” Kylo points out, “just tell me why it’s so embarrassing for you to be so damn hot–”

Kylo stops talking immediately but it’s already too late. Hux stares at him.

“You find this,” Hux gestures to himself, “attractive?”

He’s watching Kylo with mild curiosity. Kylo expected something else – he thought physical attraction was above Hux, he expected to be laughed at, not this.

“I do,” he admits after a little while.

“In an intellectual sense. As in you want to take me apart and see how I work.” 

“No. I mean yes, that too, I think it’s absolutely fascinating. It’s possible to tell who made the parts from the way they’re attached to the biological body or the way neural activity is transmitted,” Kylo says. Hux appears astonished more than anything else and Kylo hopes he’s getting closer. He supposes he should be honest if he wants the same from Hux, so he goes on: “But also sexually. I’ve always found it arousing, the unique mix of living and artificial.”

“You’re even weirder than I thought,” Hux says. Kylo can almost see him process the information. He supposes he should be insulted by Hux’s words but he can’t find it in himself to care. 

“Fine, I will tell you,” Hux says at last, “in exchange, I want you to tell me everything you know about the technology. A mutually beneficial agreement.”

“Deal,” Kylo says, too fast, almost breathless. Hux looks him up and down and a smirk crawls up to his face. 

“Come to my quarters, at 2000,” he says and calls for the engineer to come back. Kylo had completely forgotten about the man. He walks out of the workshop, his rage about his ill-functioning ship pushed to the back of his mind. He checks the time, finds he has several hours to kill and his imagination runs wild. Why did Hux ask him to come to his quarters, at night, after Kylo, having completely lost higher cognitive functions, revealed his attraction to cyborgs? Kylo doesn’t want to hope for too much, Hux has a lot of work to do, but he can’t quite stop the fantasies from unfolding in his mind. 

The afternoon crawls by like a decade. Kylo spends it in the hangar working on his ship, but his mind keeps fleeing to Hux and he ends up abandoning the ship with her engine bared, feeling guilty and ashamed for it. He goes to the gym to distract himself and that works at least, until he’s naked in the shower afterwards and thinks of Hux again. 

He spends way too much time choosing his outfit. He sprays himself with a cologne he bought on one of his recent missions. He wears only the sleeveless shirt he usually puts under his tunic and pants that are so tight around his ass and thighs he sometimes has problems taking them off. With a last look into his mirror, he concedes he could not look any more like he wants to get laid unless he arrives in Hux’s quarters completely naked, and leaves.

Hux grants him access to his rooms at exactly 2000. Kylo thinks briefly that maybe he should go change back into his regular clothes after all, his heart racing wildly in his chest, but then the door slides open and he has no time to change his mind. 

“Good evening, Ren.”

Hux’s voice comes from somewhere within the quarters. Kylo steps inside and the door closes behind him with a sense of finality that has never been there before. He’s been in Hux’s quarters countless times, when Hux wanted more details about his missions or to chastise Kylo, but this feels different. When Kylo walks into Hux’s office, the familiarity of the scene is gone completely.

“I see you’ve chosen a more informal attire as well,” Hux says with a smile. He’s sitting behind his desk and from what Kylo can see, he’s wearing nothing but a light black bathrobe tied only very loosely. The metal of his breast shines through and it seems to Kylo that he must have polished it since they last saw each other.

“I thought this might be a less official conversation,” Kylo replies, proud of himself for not stumbling over the longer words. 

“Indeed,” Hux nods and points to the seat across from his, “please sit. Whiskey?”

“Yes, please,” Kylo agrees as he takes the seat. Hux reaches for a fat bottle at the edge of the table and uncorks it before pouring two glasses. His right hand is flesh, thin and delicate, but the left is made of the same sleek metal as his chest, with streaks of malachite green imitating the veins of his right hand. Hux hands Kylo the glass and raises his own. Kylo clinks it against Hux’s in a toast and takes a sip. 

It’s a strong whiskey; Kylo’s eyes widen with surprise as it burns his throat. Hux is watching him over the rim of his glass, amused, as if he was expecting that very reaction. Kylo glances at the bottle, trying to see the percentage of alcohol in the drink.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, General?” Kylo asks. After the initial shock, the whiskey is sweet, almost like honey on Kylo’s tongue, with a hint of a spice he knows but can’t name.

“Do I have to?” Hux purrs and Kylo has to close his eyes for a bit to regain his footing.

“Isn’t it obvious?” 

“You were the first to ask the obvious,” Hux reminds him. Is Hux seriously playing the same game with him? It would be rather embarrassing if Kylo misinterpreted the situation just because he desperately wanted something.

“You seem a lot more relaxed now than you did in the afternoon,” Kylo directs the attention from himself. Hux drinks some of his whiskey and nods, his eyes half-lidded. 

“You caught me by surprise,” he replies, “and I didn’t consider just how different your opinions and prejudices are from mine. You’ve been around so much that I forget where you came from.”

“It doesn’t matter where I came from,” Kylo protests, “it was a long time ago. I burnt all the bridges to my past. For all it’s worth, I was born when I joined the Order.”

“I sure hope not,” Hux says, “because that would make you hardly five years old, and I just poured you my strongest whiskey.”

“Don’t take me too literally, you know what I meant.”

“Yes,” Hux nods, “but the fact is that you come from a place where being human is just as good and just as bad as being a machine. I do not.”

“You’re not a machine. Though I suppose you convinced yourself of that to excuse your viciousness.”

“Ah,” Hux chuckles, “are you going to lecture me about cruelty? Don’t waste my time.”

“I never said your viciousness is a flaw,” Kylo says and leans back in his chair, “but you promised to tell me one thing. If being a cyborg is so bad, how did it happen to you?”

“I’ve always been a small child, sickly,” Hux says, “my father thought that if he replaced enough of my body with metal and electronics, I would grow up to be someone he could be proud of.”

“Did you?” Kylo asks. Hux’s father has been dead for some time now and there have been rumours that Hux had something to do with it. Kylo knows a thing or two about never being good enough for one’s parent, and he knows what Hux is going to say before he does it.

“Not really. He couldn’t replace me entirely, no matter how hard he tried, and with each piece of me gone, his contempt for what was left of me grew more concentrated,” Hux replies and Kylo recognizes the same falsely disinterested tone he uses to talk about his own parents, and he wonders if he didn’t steer this conversation in the wrong direction. 

“Have you been hiding this the whole time?” 

“Yes. You are the first person who isn’t directly involved in keeping my body functional to learn of this. It wasn’t always easy, especially at the Academy, but I always managed to hide it. Until today,” Hux says, “I should have you killed.”

“But you’d have to give a reason for that, wouldn’t you?” 

“Not necessarily. It would be an accident of course, a tragic one,” Hux smiles coldly, “I would be the first to mourn such a loss.”

“It seems like I’m at your mercy,” Kylo says and spreads his legs a little. Hux doesn’t fail to notice and his eyes linger at Kylo’s legs a second too long.

“It does,” Hux drawls and sets the empty glass on his table. The top of it is devoid of any objects save for the bottle, and Kylo realises he has never seen it like that. As if Hux cleared it for some purpose. Hux runs the tip of his metallic index fingers over the rim of the glass and it makes a faint high-pitched noise. 

“Did you touch yourself thinking about me before you came here?” Hux asks all of a sudden. Kylo’s heart does a somersault and runs wild. He considers his answer for a brief moment.

“Yes.”

“And did it satisfy you?” 

“For a while,” Kylo says, “just barely.”

Hux’s smile grows wider. Kylo gulps down the rest of his whiskey to avoid Hux’s scorching gaze. 

“What did I do to you? In your fantasy?” Hux asks, his head tilted to the side as if he’s listening to something incredibly interesting. 

“You didn’t really do anything to me,” Kylo says and it feels like he’s admitting to some fault of character. “I just imagined you, without clothes, watching me.” 

Hux casts his eyes down, caught off-guard, and Kylo can see blush spilling from his cheeks all the way to the metal of his breastplate. His red hair is looser than usual and a strand of it falls down, partly obscuring his face. 

“You have no idea how beautiful you are,” Kylo says with urgency which surprises him. He’s throwing all the leftovers of his dignity through the airlock with this, but it feels like the right solution. “And no one ever told you. You’ve lived all your life thinking you’re ugly when you’re the most perfect person I’ve ever seen.”

Hux raises his head but he still doesn’t meet Kylo’s eyes. He’s blinking too fast and Kylo can hear his breathing now.

Kylo stands up and walks over to the other side of the table. Hux does look up at him now and his eyes glisten, his cheeks red and he’s never looked more human.

“I’ll definitely have to kill you now,” Hux sniffles and his voice breaks. Kylo chuckles and drops to his knees and takes Hux’s hands into his own. There’s no difference in temperature between the two even if they feel different to the touch. Kylo realises this must be the first time he’s actually touched Hux, in all the years they’ve known each other. 

“If there is no other way,” he says, “can I have a dying wish?”

“Depends on the wish.”

“Let me see you,” Kylo breathes out, “all of you. Let me die with the image of you in my mind.”

“Stars, you’re so dramatic,” Hux rolls his eyes.

“Says someone who wants to kill me for seeing you display an emotion that’s not contempt,” Kylo scoffs.

Hux opens his mouth but the snarky remark never leaves his lips. He stands up instead and pulls Kylo up with him. He holds Kylo’s gaze for a while before dropping it again as he reaches for the knot of the belt holding his bathrobe closed. His fingers shake as he unties it and his hands linger on his stomach.

“Are you okay?” Kylo asks. The words feel odd on his tongue. The whole situation seems more like a fever hallucination than reality. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. I don’t want to be another person who feels entitled to your body.”

“How very considerate of you,” Hux snaps. Kylo bites his tongue and takes a deep breath. They stand still for a while before Hux finally drops his hands and shakes his bathrobe off his shoulders. 

He’s wearing a pair of black briefs, probably First Order-issued. His entire left arm, including the shoulder, is from the slick dark metal laced with malachite, but his right arm is flesh and blood and milky white. The contrast is so stark it shouldn’t work, but somehow it does. His legs are mostly flesh but there are small plates covering the insides of his thighs and, if Kylo can see properly, his heels. 

“So? Am I the stuff of your dreams?” Hux asks with too much pretend venom. 

“What exactly were you expecting to happen when you invited me here?” Kylo replies, “Because you made it sound like we were going to have sex, and you intentionally put on next to no clothes. I’m getting very mixed signals here.”

Hux lets out a shaky breath. 

“I don’t know,” he admits at last. “I mean, when you said you found mechanoids attractive, I blurted that out because I find  _ you  _ very attractive, and I haven’t had sex in a very long time, and you already saw me, so what? But I didn’t really think it through.”

“You think I’m attractive?” Kylo repeats, having barely heard the rest of what Hux said.

“And stupid. Honestly, Ren, why else would I make you such a blatant proposition?” Hux says, “Look at you. Who wouldn’t find you attractive?”

“A whole lot of people,” Kylo replies. His heart is racing in his chest and he feels as though his stomach is trying to tie itself into a knot.

“Well they’re idiots,” Hux says, “you’re a piece of art.”

Kylo bites his lower lip again. Hux’s eyes are flicking from Kylo’s face to the floor and back. He’s so close, and so gorgeous, and Kylo came here to have sex. 

With a deep breath he lunges forward and kisses Hux. 

Hux’s mouth falls open immediately to let Kylo’s tongue in. He wraps his arms around Kylo’s neck and pushes himself closer to him. His chest is warm, hot even, against Kylo’s own and Kylo is slightly disappointed by that. His hands find Hux’s lower back and quickly sink down to his butt. Hux rolls his hips, widening his stance to rub his hardening cock against Kylo’s thigh. 

Kylo’s pants become uncomfortably tight. Hux’s kisses are hungrier and meaner than anything Kylo’s experienced before, and his long fingers dig deeper into Kylo’s upper back. Hux gasps audibly a couple of times and it usually comes with a firm tug on Kylo’s shirt, which puts just enough pressure on Kylo’s windpipe to feel good. Kylo’s body is on fire, a confused blend of pleasure and discomfort. The metal covering Hux’s back is sleek under his hands and disappears into the fabric of Hux’s underwear. Kylo slips his fingers there and finds the line where it meets soft skin again. He pulls the fabric down, uncovers Hux’s cock and takes it in his hand. Hux stops kissing him and presses his forehead against Kylo, breathing hard.

“Are you okay?” Kylo asks.

“Yeah, it’s just been a long time since someone else touched me there,” Hux mumbles, “I don’t want to come while you’re still fully clothed.”

“Let’s do something about that, then,” Kylo says and steps away from Hux to take off his shirt. Hux begins to take Kylo’s pants off, his hand hot on Kylo’s crotch. Kylo lets Hux unzip the pants and his cock all but springs out. 

“Do you never wear underwear?” Hux asks while Kylo finally takes the too tight pants off.

“Just with these pants. It would ruin the aesthetic,” Kylo replies. Hux presses himself against Kylo again, their cocks trapped between their stomachs, and kisses Kylo almost too gently on the lips. They stay like that for some time, slowly rolling their hips, and Kylo can’t quite believe it’s happening to him.

“Is your table empty so that you can fuck me on top of it?” Kylo asks when he finally can’t take it anymore. 

“If that’s what you want.”

“What do you want?” Kylo pulls away to look at Hux.

“I want you,” Hux says simply, “the logistics are irrelevant.”

“Would you…” Kylo trails off, suddenly embarrassed to voice his wish, “would you finger me with your left hand?”

“You mean would I fuck you with my metal hand,” Hux translates with a furrowed brow.

“Yeah,” Kylo admits, “I’ll do anything you want in return.”

“You’re the weirdest person I’ve ever met,” Hux says with exasperation.

“Probably,” Kylo grins, “that’s why you want me.”

“I want you because you’re so huge,” Hux says and lays both of his hands on Kylo’s chest, all but kneading his pectorals, “and because I have rather self-destructive tendencies.”

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”

“Take it or leave it,” Hux instructs him, “now, do you want to keep talking like a pair of old ladies or what?”

“I want you to put your entire fist so deep up my ass that I forget my name,” Kylo says, managing just barely to keep a straight face.

“Well that was very specific but I’ll do my best,” Hux replies, “get on the table then.”

Kylo sits onto the edge of the table. Hux is immediately between his legs, kissing him like his life depends on it. His hands are firm on Kylo’s shoulders as he’s pushing Kylo down, onto his back. Kylo has never before realised just how big Hux’s table is, but he’s glad for it now. When he’s on his back, Hux stands up straight and looks at Kylo from above. The sight is so surreal, so perfect that Kylo is sure he’s having a wet dream. Hux has a cold and stoic expression on his face again, the one Kylo knows so well, and his heart stumbles and skips a beat. 

“Look at you,” Hux says. There’s a hint of his usual sneer there, even if his eyes seem to be asking Kylo something, perhaps if this is okay. 

“I’m entirely at your mercy,” Kylo says in lieu of a direct answer. 

“How pathetic.”

Hux looks for something in the drawer beneath his table, never breaking eye-contact. He runs his left hand up Kylo’s inner thigh, touching him oh so very lightly with the knuckles of his fingers, but it drives Kylo almost insane with desire. Finally he finds the lube he was looking for.

“You humans,” he goes on as he puts a generous amount onto his metal fingers, “so susceptible to carnal pleasures.”

“Please, I’m so weak, I can’t stand this pain any longer,” Kylo plays whimpers, “I need you to fuck me. Or I’ll die.”

“Yes,” Hux says, his voice dropping low. He leans forward with his right hand on the table and looks down on Kylo with half-lidded eyes, “you just might die without me. Good thing I’m willing to help you.” 

Hux keeps looking at Kylo as he finally touches him. He circles Kylo’s hole with one finger, very lightly without applying any real pressure. Then he slips it in, slowly, so slowly it must be deliberate. Kylo moves his hips to get him deeper, but that only makes Hux pull his finger out completely. 

“Ah-ah-ah, patience. I could hurt you if we’re not careful,” he tells Kylo, as if he’s chastising a child.

“I can take it, I promise,” Kylo whimpers.

“Humans are so very fragile,” Hux replies though he does slip his finger back inside Kylo, “normally I wouldn’t dare to lay my hand on one for fear of hurting them. But you seem strong enough.”

He adds another finger. It’s still not any real stretch for Kylo and Hux must know that. Kylo doesn’t dare demand more and Hux seems pleased by that. He moves his fingers a little, spreads them, curls them and they feel smoother than Kylo’s own skin, although he might be imagining that. 

“Do you have nothing more to say?” Hux asks, “you seemed determined to instruct me how to touch you.”

“I trust you know best.”

“Do I? Why would I know more about what feels good to you than you?” Hux goes on. He’s pushed Kylo into a corner with his questions and he must be very well aware of it. He does however finally add two more fingers. Kylo breathes in and out, feeling stretched and filled at last. He supposes Hux is perceptive enough to interpret his response, but he decides to give him another hint by arching his spine. Hux slips his fingers a little deeper still and curls them, and he’s understood Kylo’s clue  _ perfectly _ . Kylo moans.

Hux leans down a little, his face quite close to Kylo’s, and he breaks character a little with a smile. 

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” he purrs, “tell me how to make you feel good.”

Kylo has never been very good at voicing his wishes but Hux seems happy enough to hear him moan and see him writhe and move his pelvis to meet the thrusts of his fingers. At some point, Hux starts to massage Kylo’s perineum with his thumb. Kylo has to admit that requesting an entire fist up his ass was a little unimaginative when this is an alternative. 

Neither of them speaks for some time. Hux appears engrossed in his task, changing the way he stimulates Kylo every now and then to make sure Kylo doesn’t come too quickly, to drive him absolutely insane. Kylo stops holding back his heavy breathing and moans even if they feel deafeningly loud to him; who could hear him now but Hux? Hux smiles a little whenever Kylo gasps, the way he smiles when an enemy ship is destroyed in battle or a planet surrenders in occupation. The knowledge that pleasuring Kylo feels the same as destruction, which Kylo considered to be the only thing to wake any sort of emotion in Hux, is intoxicating. 

Kylo’s cock is hard and leaking precome without being touched. His whole body feels hot and he’s very close to coming now, just a few more steps to climb. And Hux is fucking him with his artificial handl, thousands of little parts working together in perfect harmony to bring Kylo pleasure. Kylo closes his eyes and throws his head back, imagining all of the work and genius which have been put into making Hux the marvelous synthesis of living and machine that he is. All of what has been left of his humanity for him to want to make Kylo feel good and all of what has been added to make it work. 

He comes with a loud moan. His orgasm makes him arch his back and his whole body tenses as it washes over him. Hux slowly removes his fingers and touches Kylo’s cock instead, softly, with the tip of his index finger from the base to the head. That new stimulus is too much and Kylo whines, but he catches Hux’s hand when he starts pulling it back. It’s almost masochistic but he can’t get enough of Hux until he’s completely soft and spent.

Finally he lies back, breathing heavily. He feels exhausted, as if all of his energy was drained from him. Hux caresses his side gently and kisses his temple. Kylo opens his eyes slowly, disoriented. He wishes they were in bed and he could just pull Hux on top of him and fall asleep.

“That was incredible,” Kylo breathes out. 

“I’m glad,” Hux smiles.

“I’ll return the favour soon, just let me recover.”

“Take whatever time you need. I’ll clean you up in the meantime,” Hux says and he walks away. Kylo turns his head to one side to follow him with his eyes. If the layout of Hux’s quarters is the same as that of his own, Hux is going to the refresher. That turns out to be true when Hux comes back with a washcloth in his hand. 

“I hope I didn’t break you after all,” Hux says when he finds Kylo in the exact same position he left him in. 

“It’s nothing permanent,” Kylo replies.

“Good.” Hux cleans Kylo’s stomach and cock with the cloth, then pulls some paper tissues from his drawer and dries him. Then he plants a soft kiss to Kylo’s stomach, right above his belly button. 

“Good as new,” he announces. 

Kylo sits up and takes Hux’s face in his hands. Hux seems surprised when Kylo kisses him softly, slowly, without the urgency of before. He lays his hands tentatively on Kylo’s thighs and returns the kiss. Kylo wonders if he’ll be able to pretend Hux doesn’t mean anything to him after all this. 

“Let’s lie down,” Hux says when they pull away at last. 

“Okay.” 

Kylo’s head still feels light but his step is steady as Hux leads him by the hand to the bedroom. They climb in together, Hux on top of Kylo, legs tangled together. Kylo lays his hands on Hux’s back, tracing the small plates of his back with his fingers. He didn’t notice before that there are more pieces to the metal cover of Hux’s back, but it does make sense to ensure mobility. 

“Does it feel the same? When I touch you here?” Kylo asks.

“They kept the sensitive innervation as true to human as possible, so I suppose it does. I can’t say for sure obviously since I don’t have any reference, it’s been too long,” Hux says, “it feels nice though, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“How did they decide which parts to change and which to keep the same?” Kylo goes on, his curiosity getting the better of him. Hux rests with his left cheek on top of Kylo’s chest and trails the outline of one nipple with his finger.

“It was a lengthy process. It was my stomach first, to protect me from bleeding out should someone shoot me. Then my back, though it took some time before they figured out how to protect my spine without restricting my movement or making it a prison for my spinal cord in case of some injury. Then my chest.” 

Kylo runs a hand down Hux’s spine, feeling the bones protruding out. He supposes the changes had to be made under Hux’s skin because the vertebrae feel very ordinary to the touch. 

“When did it start? You said your father made you…”

“I was eight or nine, I think,” Hux says, “they had to replace some of the bits as I grew, obviously. The procedures were difficult of course, huge surgeries, to say nothing about the need to grow accustomed to them and the rehabilitation process. The doctors told me to rest and focus on my recovery but my father wouldn’t have that, so I was expected to go to school unless I was directly in surgery. I was constantly in pain because I wasn’t allowed to take medication for longer than a few days at a time because my father hated addicts even more than he hated sickly children. I had to be the best in all my subjects except physical exercise, where I didn’t go for obvious reasons. And I was, even though I hardly recall going there or learning at all.”

“That’s awful,” Kylo says, “and the medics just went with it, even when you were clearly in pain?”

“They didn’t know that I wasn’t allowed to take my painkillers, I had to lie about that. And some of them did try to protest that there was no need for such alterations or that I was a child and would therefore need replacements soon. I never saw them again though.”

“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispers and strokes Hux’s hair, “you had to go through that and all I can think about when I see it is how hot I find it.”

“It’s fine,” Hux says, “you couldn’t know. And I’m grateful for it now. My father was a tyrant and I hated him with all my heart, but it did save my life once. Besides, it got you into my bed.”

“I didn’t come here just because you’re enhanced,” Kylo protests.

“Oh really?” Hux raises his head and looks at Kylo, “I didn’t feel you were too interested in me before.”

“I was. I just never gathered the courage to say it. I always felt like you despised me.” 

“Well in that case we really have my father’s obsession with perfection to thank for this,” says Hux and kisses Kylo. 

“Let’s not bring your father into this,” Kylo replies. 

“He’s dead, he won’t bother us.”

“Good.”

They kiss for so long Kylo’s lips start tingling. Hux’s kisses turn hungry very quickly and Kylo’s body reacts in kind. It doesn’t take long for them to start moving their hips in unison. Hux gets hard soon and Kylo knows he isn’t far from getting there too. 

“What do you want me to do?” Kylo whispers, “I promised you anything you wanted.”

“I want to fuck you,” Hux says, “just like this.”

Kylo envisions the lube they left on Hux’s table and brings it to his hand. “So do it,” he says. 

“The Force can be useful sometimes,” Hux replies and takes the bottle from Kylo. He puts some of it on his cock and settles between Kylo’s legs. Kylo gasps softly when Hux enters him, despite getting so thoroughly fingered before. Hux leans forward again. Kylo catches his lips in a kiss and Hux begins to rock his hips. Kylo wraps his legs around his waist and Hux speeds up. Their kiss breaks after some time when they need more air as they pick up a rhythm. Hux’s hair falls into his eyes and he’s never been more attractive than now, with his cheeks tinted pink and his mouth slightly open as he thrusts into Kylo. 

Kylo’s own arousal is still rising when Hux begins to tremble and picks up speed, fucking Kylo with the desperation of someone teetering on the brink of an orgasm. Kylo tries to clench around Hux, to move his hips to help him, uncaring for his own pleasure at the moment and focused only on Hux. Hux is breathing heavily but otherwise completely quiet, the wet noises of their bodies fitting together very loud in the stillness of the room. 

And then Hux grunts and exhales and goes still. Kylo stops moving too and caresses Hux’s back instead. 

“Thank you,” Hux whispers. 

“What for? You did all the work.”

“For letting me be on top,” Hux says, “this is the first time someone let me do that.”

“What?” 

“Sorry, was I so bad?” Hux panics, “I was, wasn’t I?”

“Calm down,” Kylo says, “though this probably isn’t a conversation to be had when you’re still balls deep inside me.”

“Yeah, right.” Hux slips out of Kylo and rolls onto his back beside him. 

“You were absolutely amazing before,” Kylo says, “this round wasn’t about me, it was about you. And you seem to have enjoyed yourself.”

“I did,” Hux admits, “but you’re still…”

“Forget about it,” Kylo says, knowing that Hux is referring to Kylo’s erection.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it will go away in a second,” Kylo assures him.

“Okay,” Hux mumbles. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kylo asks. 

“No. Those are ghosts from my past,” Hux says, “they already ruined that. I won’t give them my present.”

“Okay.” Kylo turns onto his side and lays his arm over Hux’s chest. He nuzzles his neck, placing a soft kiss here and there. Hux doesn’t smell of any cologne but he smells so attractive nonetheless. Kylo closes his eyes and tries to calm down. He can’t feel Hux’s heartbeat under the metal of his breast plate the way he would feel in another person, but he’s sure it’s as rapid as his own.

“I’m sorry about all this baggage,” Hux says after some time.

“It’s not your fault,” Kylo mumbles.

“But it isn’t yours either. This can’t be what you expected.”

“You aren’t what I expected,” Kylo says against Hux’s shoulder, “and if it means anything to you, I never saw you as more human than you are now.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Hux says. 

“Maybe we deserve each other,” Kylo replies. 

“I like the sound of that,” Hux says. 

They fall silent for some time. Kylo isn’t sure what just happened between them, or what will happen next. But he knows they won’t be able to go back to hating each other. Something has clicked in him and there is suddenly an open door in his soul where there used to be an empty, vague nothingness. Hux simply has to come in. 

“It doesn’t seem like that boner’s going anywhere,” Hux says at last.

“Probably not. Sorry,” Kylo apologises, “it’s been a long time since I had sex with another person.”

“I wasn’t complaining.” Hux shifts to sit between Kylo’s legs and takes Kylo’s cock in his mouth. Kylo closes his eyes and relaxes. Hux alternates between teasing the head with his tongue and taking Kylo deep into his throat, and Kylo is soon back to moaning. Hux is very good at this, and Kylo doesn’t want to think about where he learnt it. Soon, he’s not thinking at all as he comes down Hux’s throat. Hux swallows everything and stays still for a little longer before he pulls away and wipes his mouth. 

“You’ll tell me I’m overly dramatic but I have to tell you,” Kylo murmurs. Hux is sitting at his heels and watching him with curiosity. “I love you.”

“You’re overly dramatic,” Hux says but his voice catches a little in his throat.

“And you love me too,” Kylo grins.

Hux doesn’t say anything, but he settles down into Kylo’s arms again and that’s all the answer Kylo needs.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fic! Please leave me a comment if you did, it means a lot to me.  
> Come talk to me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/EllstraH)


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